Self Love

10 Things You Need To Know About Self-Love

July 12, 2019
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A self-love journey is a personal journey. It is a journey that many do not embark on, and this journey takes courage. It is not always easy and gets uncomfortable.

Even so, self-love is the foundation of your happiness and experiences. With anything that you do, the love you have for yourself will be a reflection of the experiences you have.

Without self-love, there is a lack of courage to go after your or career goals. Without self-love, others will mistreat you whether it’s in regards to your time or how they value you.

Self-love showcases to others how they should treat you. Sometimes it can be hard to recognize genuine love if there is a lack of self-love within yourself.

This makes it hard to welcome those that are authentic, kind, and loving. The internal work that is required of a self-love journey is liberating but difficult.

Love Yourself First

See when your a child, everything that is learned is from how your parents interact with the world. Then after a few years, the culture from school begins to have an influence.

Self-love is learned. Many lack it because self-love is not properly taught. If others did not receive healthy avenues of love growing up, how can it be learned?

It then becomes a repeated cycle.

That cycle continues to get passed down until some person along the way takes it upon themselves to get it right.

If people are not around others who love themselves most likely, it will not be learned.

So try not to harbor resentment to those who have mistreated you in the past. They most likely were not taught the fundamentals of self-love. So now it is our responsibility as individuals to love ourselves. Better than anyone else ever could.

Accept Yourself

When embarking on a self-love journey, there may be traits that you are not proud of. Self-love cannot be reached from a place of disapproval.

The prerequisite for self-love is to accept every of part yourself, whether it is good or bad. Learn to truly love yourself.

Self-Love Exercise

Write out a list of things about yourself that you are ashamed of. Then go in front of a mirror look yourself in the eye and say you forgive yourself for each item you listed.

Once completed, repeat to yourself that you accept yourself the way you are. Healing begins taking place once you receive your truth.


Detox from the things and people that no longer serve you. It makes room for others who actually love and care about you.  Detox from the habits that are no longer serving you as well.

Choose anything that is no good for your health, mental health, and distractions that are causing you to not achieve your goals.

Self-Love Technique

Write down a list of things that are distracting you from achieving your goals. This could be social media or television. Detox from one of the points on your list every 21 days. After the 21 days are up, choose a new habit from your list to work on while continuing to detox from the other chosen habits.

The change will take place

In the past, I struggled with codependency. It still bears its ugly head every once in a while.

Growing up, I did not have many friends. I had always felt that there was something wrong with me. Because of this, I had difficulty connecting with others. I carried those experiences into my adulthood.

Unfortunately, I would become friends with others who did not see my worth.

They did not see my value as a friend. I never spoke up. This caused me to tiptoe around in relationships even if they were in the wrong.

I put up with so much from others so that I could say that I had a group of friends. I always worried about the opinions of others and what they had to say about me.

Eventually, I had to find myself.

I learned the negative behaviors that were causing me to create negative experiences. Once I started finding myself and my voice, all those toxic people fell off. See they were attracted to a version of me that no longer exists.

In the end, I gradually developed relationships with people who love me for me in the same way that I learned to love my self.

Stop Caring About What Others Think

The ultimate goal in your self-love journey should be to love yourself to a point where no one else can tell you who you are.

I mean think about it! Who are other people to tell YOU who you are?

When you love you yourself no one should have the power to take that away from you because you know your worth. You would find it almost laughable for someone to try to insult you because you know their insults hold no value.

When you have developed a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, you know what you bring to the table. Only then can you make a conscious decision to choose what makes you happy.

Truly confident people are not unicorns. Forget what you believe that people are born with confidence. It is not true.

Confidence is learned. Confidence has to be taught, and unfortunately, they do not teach it in schools. In school, we were taught to ask permission like when having to use the bathroom and to seek validation.

Your behavior in primary school was rated by a system your teacher created.

So learning confidence is a right of passage for many. It is not impossible to learn, and it does not have to be hard.

You have to take notice of the qualities confident people have.

Risk Takers

Confident individuals are more likely to take risks.

In addition, they also have a higher chance of getting what they want.

There is power when it comes to believing in yourself that can only happen with the act of self-trust. For that reason, those who are confident seem always to get what they want.

Furthermore, they know the importance of vision. The truth is, we receive what we have prepared. They know what they want. If you prepare for failure, that is what you should expect.

In retrospect, being confident requires one to have courage, express vulnerability, and take action.

Being comfortable makes them uncomfortable because they know they are not growing. They strive to expand and to grow. That is what helps build their confidence.

Above all, they know that despite their fears, it is not crippling them to go after what they want. The realization hits that there is more to life.

Kind to Themselves

There is power in the words that you speak yourself and over your life. Whatever is spoken over one’s life becomes their reality, whether it is a thought or said out loud.

With negative self-talk, we can be our own self-bullies. Those that are confident are gentle and kind to themselves. This means they are mindful of how they talk to themselves.

Practicing positive affirmation is good for battling negative self-talk. Positive affirmations are statements that help you believe in your self. They can help you overcome any self-sabotaging beliefs or negative thoughts.


Confident individuals know the definition of boundaries. Personal boundaries teach people how to treat us properly. Confident people choose relationships with people that treat them well.

You may know the saying birds of a feather flock together. Essentially, the people around you are a mirror of yourself and where you are in life. This includes how one treats themselves.

This includes how one treats themselves. How you treat yourself showcases to others how they should treat you as well. It only makes sense that those who have genuine levels of confidence will not allow others to compromise personal boundaries. 


Confident people know the difference between being arrogant and expressing humility.

Arrogance is not the same as confidence. Those who inhibit humility accept themselves for who they are.

They also are aware of their faults and choose to work on them. It is not about striving to be perfect. They accept their unique qualities and build a foundation of their lives based on that.

Honesty is the Best Policy

Confident Individuals are honest with others but in a loving way. This allows themselves to be self-aware in social interactions. Instead of them saying, “I hate what you are wearing.” they would say something like “that’s not my favorite.” Confident people speak their minds, but they do not tell everything that comes to mind.

Confident people have a genuine relationship with themselves. With anything you do that is where it starts, with yourself.

It is a myth that people are born with confidence. It takes time to unlearn self-sabotaging habits. Exhibit confidence by taking risks, using positive self-talk, creating boundaries, and exhibiting humility. Be honest about who you are and what you want.

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